New York Divorce Lawyer Blog

Prenuptial Agreements: Top Ten Reasons for Signing

Mon, 14 May 2012 15:26:44 -0500

The summer months have traditionally been the most popular for weddings, which could be why calls to my office from couples seeking prenuptial agreements tend to increase each spring. Following is an "encore presentation" of an article regarding such agreements that was published on this site last July.

A prenuptial agreement is a written agreement that both members of a couple enter into before their marriage. This agreement spells out how assets are distributed in the event of divorce or death. Though they are commonly associated with wealthy couples, in reality, couples from any socio economic background can seek a prenuptial agreement. In order for the agreement to be valid, both parties must enter into it knowingly and voluntarily. If any coercion is involved, the agreement is invalid.

Many couples avoid prenuptial agreements because they don't want to believe that their marriage could end in divorce. Yet a "prenup" does not have to mean that you are hostile toward your future spouse. In fact, it can actually be a way to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page during the marriage and avoid hostility during a divorce. Here are some of the top reasons for getting a prenuptial agreement:

1. You don't want your spouse to own a piece of your business. In New York, if a business appreciates in value during the marriage, that appreciation can be considered a marital asset. That means without a prenuptial agreement, your spouse could receive a piece of your business, which could cause further tensions between the two of you and with your business partners.

2. You don't want your spouse to have an interest in your professional practice. Likewise, without a prenuptial agreement, the increased value of a professional practice that you started before the marriage can end up being partially distributed to your spouse.

3. You expect to be a stay-at-home parent. A spouse who chooses to stay home with the child is not building retirement assets in their own name and could be seen as not actively contributing to the acquisition of other marital assets. With a prenuptial agreement, the stay-at-home spouse can be guaranteed an equitable share of the assets and a certain level and duration of spousal support.

4. You are wealthier. While prenuptial agreements are not strictly for the wealthy, many wealthy people find them worthwhile to guarantee that their partner is not marrying them for their money.

5. You own assets that you want to protect from being used to pay off your spouse's debts. Many people own homes, businesses, and have savings prior to their marriages. In the event of a divorce, one spouse can file for bankruptcy, and without a prenuptial agreement in place, creditors might go after the other spouse's premarital assets to help pay off that debt.

6. You have children by a previous marriage whom you want to make sure receive a proper inheritance. Without a prenuptial agreement, property that was yours can end up partially in the hands of the other spouse, who could then pass it on to his or her children instead of yours.

7. You want to keep certain heirlooms in the family. Similarly, if you have valued possessions that you wish to pass down to your children, you can specify it in a prenuptial agreement.

8. You want to avoid an expensive divorce. One of the biggest benefits of a prenuptial agreement is that it prevents drawn out, expensive legal battles over custody and property. You save money that might otherwise have been spent on attorney fees.

9. You want to protect your children from a nasty divorce. Since a prenuptial agreement can prevent a court battle, it also prevents relations between the spouses from deteriorating even further. Spouses are able to maintain a civil tone, which is better for all involved, especially the children.

10. You want peace of mind. You know that if your marriage fails, you have a "back-up plan" that provides you and your spouse with more control, so that neither of you will suffer unnecessarily.

It is important to note that if circumstances change, it is never too late to amend an existing prenuptial agreement - even after the wedding - or to craft a postnuptial agreement.

Navigating Your Gray Divorce - Part II

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 12:13:45 -0500

"To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater." - Bono

In my last blog, I discussed the phenomenon of "gray divorce" and touched on some of the unique issues that older couples face when divorcing. In this post, I will share some thoughts on how effectively the mediation and collaborative law processes can meet the unique needs of these parties.

In my mediation and law practice, I have observed that unlike younger couples who are divorcing, older couples are frequently more civil toward each other and their interactions are less characterized by anger. As a mediator and collaborative lawyer, my role is to help the parties avoid court intervention and resolve their issues in a way that will keep the focus on their needs and goals, rather than their "positions." This works particularly well in cases of gray divorce. To rework a phrase popularized in the '60s, while older couples might choose to separate because they are no longer making love, it is often not because they are making war.

Mediation and Collaborative law are two cost and time effective ways to end a marriage while adding an element of grace and dignity to what could morph from a civilized discussion into volatile, emotionally and financially draining situation if not handled properly

Older couples appreciate the fact that time is extremely precious and they don't want to squander it on a lengthy and protracted court battle, nor do they wish to deplete their savings with retirement on the horizon. In addition, many find great benefit when they have the opportunity to work with mediators or collaborative lawyers trained to be creative problem solvers who can find solutions that would not necessarily be available to them if they allowed a judge to decide their fate. A particularly important issue for these couples is access to medical insurance. Additionally, as a result of the current economic climate, I have noticed that more frequently, older couples are providing some sort of support for their adult children and/or grandchildren.

I recently worked with a couple in their early 60's who, after spending the better part of a year in court with traditional divorce attorneys, came to the realization that they weren't getting any closer to a resolution. They eventually talked to each other without their lawyers and realized that they agreed on more issues than they disagreed; they then asked me as a mediator to help them to bridge their small gaps rather than continue with the long, protracted and expensive legal battle that they saw eroding the respect and care that they still had for each other after their long marriage. We reached an agreement after just two mediation sessions and in the end this couple decided that it did not actually serve their interests to divorce at this time. For them, the most viable and practical solution was to divide their assets but to stay married for another five years so that the Wife could keep the self-employed Husband on her insurance plan and then retire at a time that would maximize the amount of her pension. This solution would have been impossible in a court of law, as a judge would not be empowered to order a distribution of their assets without also ending their marriage (which would thereby end the husband's right to remain covered as a spouse under his wife's medical insurance policy).

The team approach of a collaborative divorce has also been extremely effective for my gray divorce clients where we can use a neutral divorce coach to help the couple bridge communication gaps in a non-adversarial way and we can use a neutral financial professional to help them figure out how they can utilize their assets and live on their fixed incomes in way that will allow them to both feel financially secure post-divorce.

Many later-in-life divorcing couples express to me how important it is to them to end their marriage in a way that preserves the "good times" of their long-term relationship and accomplishes the dissolution in a way that is cost effective. They might still love each other but simply want to live apart simply because they have grown apart. However, they recognize that they still have a family unit that needs to be maintained and still want to be able to share family moments as their children get married and have children of their own.

In a recent Daily Beast post about divorced couples who celebrate this next stage of their lives by jointly throwing "divorce parties," Andrew Cherlin, a professor at Johns Hopkins and author of The Marriage-Go-Round" explained that because divorce rates have been high for several decades, couples may be learning how to do divorce a little better and in a way that minimizes the pain. His theory is that happy divorces are on the rise because unlike in the past when "divorce was so stigmatized that only the most miserable left their marriages, now the 'moderately unhappy' are getting out too, which might make for some less acrimonious splits."

Divorce parties may not be every couple's goal, but neither is the desire to hate and despise each other once the divorce is over. The collaborative law and mediation processes can help these less adversarial couples preserve what was good and move into their post-divorce lives with respect for each other and dignity for themselves.

Navigating The Gray Divorce - Part I

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 14:54:12 -0500

Is 60 the new 40?

If we follow the guideposts reflected in pop culture, the answer is a resounding "yes." The new face of MAC Cosmetics is a 90-year-old woman. Christopher Plummer won this year's best supporting actor Academy Award for his role in Beginners, in which he portrayed a a 70-year-old man who reveals that he is gay following the death of his wife. Online dating services such as Gray Date and Our Time are emerging for singles 50 and up. This could be because the phenomenon of couples divorcing after the age of 50 has grown exponentially in the past two decades.

In my own mediation and law practice, I am seeing a definite trend towards what is known as "Gray" Divorce. While the overall divorce rate has gotten lower, according to Gray Divorce and Remarriage, "Boomers, born between 1946 and 1964 already have a divorce rate triple that of their parents."

Late-life divorces can occur for many of the same reasons that they occur in younger couples including economic issues, lack of intimacy and substance abuse. Interestingly, however, a recent Wall Street Journal article entitled The Gray Divorces explains that infidelity is not a major factor in late-life divorce and that seems to be the case among my clients as well.

A key factor in the rise in these divorces is the increased financial independence of women. A recent study by American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) reported that 66 percent of the divorces studied were initiated by the wife. One reason for this is that women over 50 are more likely to have their own careers and be more financially independent from their husbands than were women of previous generations. I hear many clients explain that they were unhappy for many years, but they stayed together until they knew their children were well settled in their own lives. These clients have often lost an emotional connection to their spouse but are not necessarily angry; they are simply seeking a more fulfilling quality of life as they look at the next 20 or 30 years ahead.

Untangling the tapestry of any marriage brings about legal, financial and emotional challenges, but the issues faced in late-life divorces can be even more challenging. In the coming weeks, I will discuss the unique issues that older couples face when divorcing and how well mediation and the collaborative divorce process meet the needs of these parties.

Additionally, on March 29 from 5:30-7:30 p.m., I will be conducting a workshop Navigating Your Divorce With Dignity in conjunction with Certified Financial Planner and Divorce Financial Analyst Ivy Menchel and and Certified Divorce Coach Karen McMahon. There is no charge, but seating is limited. Please contact me for details.

Duplicative Awards Are Improper Under NY Temporary Maintenance Formula

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:56:54 -0500

The issue of temporary maintenance for a spouse pending the conclusion of a divorce is often a challenging and divisive aspect of the divorce or separation process, and clarity in how awards should be granted is a key aspect of promoting equity. Kudos to the First Department for providing clarity to the new temporary maintenance guidelines that were signed into law in 2010. In what is the first Appellate Division case to date interpreting this legislation, in Khaira v. Khaira, the Appellate Division First Department ruled that it was an error of a motion court to duplicate an award of temporary maintenance by directing the husband to pay in accordance with the formula set forth in the guidelines and then adding an obligation that he pay the wife's housing expenses as well.

By way of background, the legislature's approach to temporary maintenance awards experienced a seismic change in 2010 when Domestic Relations Law § 236(B)(5-a) was signed into law, bringing with it a formula that must be used to determine the amount of support. Before it was passed, judges had much more leeway in ordering temporary maintenance. The statute, which is designed to create greater consistency, requires the court to explain any deviation that it makes from the result which is calculated using a specific formula. Rather than aiming merely to "tide over" the non-monied spouse, the new provision creates a substantial presumptive entitlement based upon a formula using a percentage of each spouse's income.

Initially, many divorce lawyers were not happy about the new law, as they considered it to be both rigid and potentially inequitable.

In the Khaira opinion, Hon. David B. Saxe, an Associate Judge at the Appellate Division, First Department wrote:

"No language in either the new temporary maintenance provision or the [Child Support Standards Act] specifically addresses whether the statutory formulas are intended to include the portion of the carrying costs of their residence attributable to the non-monied spouse and the children. As one commentator has pointed out, the new law 'does not factor in child support issues or payment of household expenses. Is the recipient supposed to pay for everything in the house from this money? Is the payor supposed to stop paying those bills? What about all the double counting of housing, child care, and medical insurance between this law and the child support law?" (Referring to an article by Lee Rosenberg, in the February 25, 2011 issue of the New York Law Journal entitled "Multiple Flaws Abound in New Interim Spousal Support Statute").

Judge Saxe went on to say that "....in the absence of a specific reference to the carrying charges for the marital residence, we consider it reasonable and logical to view the formula adopted by the new maintenance provision as covering all the spouse's basic living expenses, including housing costs as well as the costs of food and clothing and other usual expenses."

This clarification from the Appellate Division was sorely needed as it helps to limit the issues that divorcing couples need to resolve whether they are mediating, collaborating or litigating.

NY Appellate Judge Suggests Divorce Clients Should Be Encouraged To Mediate

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 09:00:00 -0500

I was thrilled to read Hon. David B. Saxe's recent article in the New York Law Journal entitled "Encourage Divorce Clients to Mediate."

Justice Saxe, who is an associate justice at the Appellate Division, First Department, focused on the fact that clients who choose mediation over litigation have more control over their divorce process and the terms of their agreement and this correlates to being more satisfied with the results of their divorce. As he states in his article: "If matrimonial lawyers focus on the larger picture, they might recognize they stand to gain more in the long run from the good will and recommendations of satisfied clients following successful mediation, than from the backlash of dissatisfaction in the wake of a typical unpleasant divorce." Exactly.

Many studies have shown that clients who mediate are much less likely to be dissatisfied with their attorneys. This is because mediation, as well as collaborative law, focuses on the client's needs as opposed to their positions. The client who can look back and see that his or her lawyer was truly committed to finding solutions is going to be much more satisfied than the one who spent long hours waiting in court, was forced to endure adversarial and contentious arguments and suffered through the months or even years of litigation while having little control over the process.

There are certainly clients who "want their day in court." They are driven to prove the other spouse is wrong and they want to be heard. However, as Justice Saxe points out, due to increased case loads, even these clients won't be satisfied in court because trial judges are increasingly focused on encouraging compromise rather than trials.

When clients come to my office, I inform them of all the options that are available to them to resolve their marital and family issues, which include mediation, collaborative law and litigation. I encourage other attorneys to do the same. An attorney who can and will speak knowledgeably about these different dispute resolution models will be able to guide their client to the process that works best for them and their family. Using the court system to resolve family disputes should not be the first, knee-jerk response when a divorcing client enters your office. It should be the last.

8 Questions to Ask When Considering Divorce Mediation

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 14:47:55 -0500

Many couples contemplating divorce would like to try and reach an amicable agreement rather than engage in a nasty and protracted battle in a courtroom and they wonder if mediation might be a good choice for them. This blog has previously discussed mediation and collaborative divorce as alternatives to litigation. If you are interested in divorce mediation, here are 8 helpful questions to ask:

1. What is the mediation process like?
Both spouses sit down with a trained family mediator who will help them reach agreements on all of the issues that need to be resolved. They speak with each other directly throughout the process and exchange all necessary documents. Both spouses will have specific interests that need to be met. The goal of the mediator is to help each of them find solutions that meet those interests. Both sides need to be prepared to work together in a civil manner.

2. When does the mediation start and how long does it last?
The mediation starts as soon as both spouses are ready to start, and it can last until all issues are resolved. Parties don't need to wait for a court-assigned date the way they would if their case were being litigated and they can meet with the mediator as often or as infrequently as their schedules allow. While some New York courts have implementedmandatory mediation programs, most mediation is strictly voluntary.

3. Will I need my own attorney?
It is strongly suggested that each spouse consult with individual attorneys before and during the mediation process so that they fully understand their rights and obligations and can discuss with the attorney the different settlement options that are being proposed. It is also important that each spouse's attorney review the settlement agreement before it is signed.

4. What issues can be resolved during mediation?
Mediation can be used to resolve any issue involved in a divorce, including child support, spousal support, child custody and the division of property. A divorce mediator can help the parties to find creative solutions that could be impossible to achieve in court.

5. What type of training does the mediator have?
While there are no state requirements for New York mediators, family mediators who are also divorce attorneys, usually have several years of family law experience. Mediators are not required to have a legal education, but a mediator who is also an attorney has the advantage of being very familiar with the law and understanding the rights of both parties. He or she is also able to draft a legally binding settlement agreement that contains all of the terms that the parties have agreed to.

6. What if my spouse knows much more about the finances than I do?
The key to a successful mediation is that both spouses are on equal ground. If you feel insecure about financial issues, you may want to consult with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who can educate you on your current financial situation and help you understand what you need for your future. CDFA's will use their knowledge of tax law, asset distribution, and short- and long-term financial planning to help you achieve an equitable settlement.

7. What are my other options if we can't reach an agreement through mediation?
While you always have the option of asking a court to resolve these issues for you, you may want to consider the collaborative divorce process before going the litigation route. In a collaborative divorce, you will always have an attorney with you during the negotiations who can advocate for your rights and interests and articulate your goals.

8. Could anything said during the mediation be used against me in court?
If you sign a confidentiality agreement with your spouse and mediator, the answer is probably no. That agreement needs to specify that all statements are considered privileged communications and cannot be used in court.

Same-Sex Divorce: It's Complicated

Sun, 25 Sep 2011 08:31:24 -0500

New York is now the seventh (and largest) jurisdiction to recognize same-sex marriage. This is an important and wonderful right for many couples and their families, which was evident in the media as we saw the first of these smiling and ecstatic couples marrying on July 24, 2011 and the days that followed.

While it may not seem romantic to think about these happy couples facing divorce and separation after they have waited so long for the right to marry, same-sex couples need to be extra vigilant to protect themselves and their families in the event that they decide to end their marriage. Some of the issues about which they need to be concerned include:

Lack of Federal Rights
The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), defines marriage as a legal union between persons of the opposite sex and permits states to refuse to legally acknowledge same-sex marriages performed in other states. The result is that a multitude of federal rights and obligations given to heterosexual spouses are unavailable to same-sex spouses. The Obama administration has refused to defend DOMA, claiming it is unconstitutional, but its existence makes divorces for same-sex couples even more complicated. For example, same-sex couples are not entitled to tax-free distribution of their spouse's pension and retirement funds, they cannot deduct spousal support payments from their income, they do not have the option of collecting social security based upon their spouse's income if they've been married for at least 10 years, and they are not entitled to COBRA benefits which would allow them keep their medical insurance offered through their spouse's employer for 36 months following divorce. Same-sex couples who divorce must consider this lack of federal rights when dividing their property and determining issues of spousal support.

Jurisdiction Issues
If a same-sex couple marries in New York, moves to one of the 44 states that do not recognize same-sex marriage, and then decides to divorce after being away from New York for one year, they will neither be able to divorce in that new state nor in New York. This is because the new state does not recognize their marriage and New York no longer has jurisdiction over it. It is therefore imperative that same-sex spouses think very carefully before moving to a state that does not recognize their marriage and that they draft a postnuptial agreement to define and protect their rights and obligations.

Child-Related Issues
In New York, there is a presumption that a child born during a marriage is the child of both spouses. The complication for same-sex divorcing couples in determining custody and child support arises when the non-biological parent has not adopted the child and they are living in a state that does not recognize their marriage. To protect both parents' rights and avoid the complications that may arise if the parents move away from New York, it is imperative that the non-biological parent adopt the child as soon as it is born.

The Importance of Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements
While prenuptial and postnuptial agreements cannot change the fact that a state may not have jurisdiction over the marriage of same-sex partners, it can make it clear that New York law will govern the issues of a marital dissolution. Additionally, these agreements offer many other protections that same-sex spouses and their children need in the event of divorce. For example, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements can outline:
- How child custody and child support will be handled (as long as children are already born at the time the agreement is written).
- How to handle the division of property between spouses given the fact that while these transfers are not taxed by states recognizing same-sex marriage, they are still taxed by the IRS.
- How to handle spousal support, which is also given preferential tax treatment by New York, but not by the IRS.

Same-sex couples need to make sure they have all the legal and tax information they need before they marry. By having honest conversations with their future spouses (and themselves) and speaking with lawyers and accountants who can advise them on divorce, trusts and estates and tax issues, they will be able to deal with many issues that if left unaddressed, could have long lasting negative repercussions for them and their children.

Top Ten Reasons for a Prenuptial Agreement

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 14:38:10 -0500

As the wedding season heats up, so do calls to my office asking about prenuptial agreements. A prenuptial agreement is a written agreement that both members of a couple enter into before their marriage. This agreement spells out how assets are distributed in the event of divorce or death. Though they are commonly associated with wealthy couples, in reality, couples from any socio economic background can seek a prenuptial agreement. In order for the agreement to be valid, both parties must enter into it knowingly and voluntarily. If any coercion is involved, the agreement is invalid.

4. You are wealthier. While prenuptial agreements are not strictly for the wealthy, many wealthy people find them worthwhile to guarantee that their partner is not marrying them for their money.

7. You want to keep certain heirlooms in the family. Similarly, if you have valued possessions that you wish to pass down to your children, you can specify it in a prenuptial agreement.

10. You want peace of mind. You know that if your marriage fails, you have a "back-up plan" that provides you and your spouse with more control, so that neither of you will suffer unnecessarily.

How To Divorce Proof Your Business In The Event of Divorce

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 16:25:07 -0500

Jeffrey Landers has an informative blog post on Forbes.com about divorce-proofing your business in the event of divorce. Landers covers the basics of the importance of prenuptial agreements, postnuptial agreements and placing the business in a trust. And it smartly points out that these are options to consider not only if contemplating divorce in the future but also if you're happily married or even single.

Court Finds No Defense to New York's No-Fault Divorce Statute

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 09:34:40 -0500

A Husband's claim that New York's "no-fault" divorce statute violates his constitutional rights has been rejected in the March 28, 2011 decision of A.C. v. D.R. The statute, DRL §170(7), permits a party to obtain a divorce by swearing under oath that the marital relationship has been irretrievably broken for a period of at least six months. There would seem to be no defenses to such allegations. Yet, the Husband in the Nassau County matter claimed that because he wanted to stay married, the statute violated his constitutional rights to due process.

Justice Anthony J. Falanga rejected this claim and held that "staying married, against the wishes of the other adult who states under oath that the marriage is irretrievably broken, is not a vested right." The Court further held that a party's "self-serving declaration about his or her state of mind is all that is required for the dissolution of a marriage on grounds that it is irretrievably broken."

This case will undoubtedly bring large sighs of relief to other parties facing challenges to their right to a no-fault divorce.

Why The Team Approach To A New York Collaborative Divorce Makes Sense

Sun, 27 Mar 2011 09:48:54 -0500

When collaborative divorce was first developed, it was a process that involved two attorneys and their clients. The attorneys not only counseled and advised their clients about the law, but also about the financial and child-related issues that needed to be resolved. And they did their best to help with the emotional and communication issues that inevitably arose during the divorce process.

Collaborative attorneys eventually realized that while they were the best source of legal information and advice for their clients, this wasn't necessarily the case when it came to financial issues, child development issues and communication issues. Instead, collaborative attorneys realized it made more sense to refer their clients to other professionals who had specialized training in these areas. And that's when the team approach to collaborative divorce began.

Today the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals and other practice groups train financial professionals, divorce coaches and child specialists alongside lawyers in collaborative practice. As a result, the team approach to collaborative divorce has become more commonplace.

How do these other professionals help the clients in a collaborative divorce?

The financial professionals help the attorneys and clients divide the marital property in a way that makes the most sense to meet the short and long-term needs of the parties and their children. They provide tax information and they can help the parties explore different property distribution and support options.

The mental health professionals can play one of three roles. They either act as a divorce coach for an individual client, they act as the neutral divorce coach for the entire team, or they act as a child specialist. Divorce coaches help the clients deal with feelings such as hurt, anger, sadness and fear that will often come up during the divorce process and that can interfere with a client's ability to make smart choices in the negotiation process. Divorce coaches can also help the clients learn how to communicate better with their spouse, their children and even their lawyers during the process. Child specialists bring the voice of the children to the collaborative process and they educate the parents about child development issues that may need to be considered and addressed. The child specialists will then help the parties arrive at a parenting arrangement and decision-making process that works best for themselves and their children.

Is the team approach more expensive than a lawyers-only approach to collaborative divorce?

Finances and cash flow are serious concerns in any divorce and the need to retain other professionals at the outset of the collaborative process can feel daunting. But when clients take their attorney's advice to bring other professionals onto the team, they will save money in the long run. Not only do the financial professionals, divorce coaches and child specialists all charge less per hour than the lawyers, but when clients receive specialized information and advice from these professionals, they are often able to come to an agreement in less time than in cases where the lawyers are being called upon to play multiple roles.

Will Mandatory Mediation Help Settle New York Divorce Cases?

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 19:37:28 -0500

A mandatory mediation program has been implemented in Supreme Court Nassau County for all couples who seek to have their divorces heard by a judge. How successful will this program be in helping couples settle their cases without additional court involvement? After reading the New York Times City Room Blog it appears there is some skepticism among attorneys. As a divorce mediator, I'm obviously encouraged whenever our court system embraces alternatives to litigation, such as the Office of Court Administration's Collaborative Family Law Center. However, I don't know what kind of impact a single 1½ hour session with a mediator can have on parties who have already made the decision to bring their matters to court and have already retained attorneys to litigate on their behalf. By the time the Judge directs them to mediation, both the parties and their attorneys may be too invested in having "their day in court" to appreciate the powerful results that successful mediation can provide. It is hoped, therefore, that the mediators who are meeting with these parties will use their allotted time to help them comprehend that they have a much better chance of having their most important needs met if they and their spouse can find a way to hear and understand each other. Because if that point isn't understood by the time the parties leave the mediator's office, they will walk right back to their litigation attorneys and pick up where they left off in the courtroom.

As The Divorce Rate Increases, Divorce Financial Professionals Are Available To Help Clients Make Decisions Based Upon Economic Realities

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 09:11:44 -0500

NPR reported this week that the divorce rate is on the rebound due to the fact that the economy is improving. Some of the reasons cited for this change are the fact that credit is getting somewhat easier to obtain, investment and retirement accounts are benefiting from the rise in the stock market and housing prices are no longer in free fall. I see all of these factors playing a role in my clients' decisions to divorce. But another reason for the increase in cases is that many people have been waiting 2 or 3 years now for their financial situation to improve and they realize they cannot wait any longer. Regardless of whether the economic circumstances are ideal, they have decided to end their marriages. But these clients are not jumping into divorce blindly regardless of the financial consequences. They are ready to face the economic realities head on and figure out a way to allow them to separate from their spouse.

It is for this reason that I strongly recommend that my clients and their spouses hire a financial professional who is certified in divorce financial planning and/or who is certified in collaborative divorce. These professionals can work with one party or with the couple together to help them determine what asset and debt allocation makes the most sense and what support may need to be paid to assure that both parties are living as well as possible post-divorce. If clients to take the time to examine these issues in the divorce process, they have a better chance of achieving their ultimate goals of having more financial security and less emotional stress after the marriage is over.

Marriage and the Expectation of Online Privacy

Sun, 09 Jan 2011 10:17:30 -0500

A Michigan man, Leon Walker, was recently charged with invasion of privacy after reading his wife's email on a computer they shared. He confirmed his suspicion that she was having an affair, but now he is facing the possibility of serving up to 5 years in prison. Walker, in his defense, has stated that he and his wife shared the computer and that she left her email passwords in notebooks around the house. We'll have to wait and see what the Michigan jury decides about this case, but what is a spouse's expectation of online privacy in New York?

This issue was previously discussed in the 2009 case of Gurevich v. Gurevich where a husband wanted to prevent his wife from presenting evidence in their divorce case that she obtained from reading his email. The wife claimed that the husband had provided her with his password during the marriage and that he neither revoked her use of it, nor changed his password after they separated. The wife suspected the husband was hiding income and her suspicions were apparently confirmed when she read his emails. The Kings County Supreme Court found that the emails were admissible evidence because they did not violate New York Penal Law section 250.00, which prohibits individuals from intercepting communications going from one person to another. Because the emails in question were stored in the email account, and were not "in transit," the Court found there was no violation of the statute prohibiting "interception." The Court also noted that there is no New York statute that provides for an implied revocation of passwords upon the commencement of a divorce action.

A simple lesson can be learned from both of these cases: You need to take responsibility for protecting your own privacy. If you don't want to share information contained in your email, facebook and text messages, you either need to keep your passwords private in the first place, or if you think your spouse (or ex-spouse) has reason to know what those passwords are, you need to remember to change them.

New York Lawyers Can Expect An Increase in Cases Due to No Fault Divorce

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 13:55:09 -0500

New York's new no fault divorce law - which allows a couple to divorce if one party claims there has been an irretrievable breakdown in the marriage - went into effect on October 12, 2010. Will this increase the number of people filing for divorce? Crains New York Business recently asked me that question, along with other divorce experts, and we all stated in one way or another that we expected that it will. Many unhappy spouses have been waiting for this law to become a reality and New York's divorce attorneys can expect an influx of new cases in their offices over the next 6 months to a year.

There are 2 types of clients that will be seeking a divorce. The first is the client who may have had grounds under the old law, but had no desire to recount every nasty thing that their spouse said or did to them over the past 5 years. As I stated in Crains, "This is definitely good news. Having a trial on grounds is one of the worst things anyone can do. Clients don't want it, lawyers don't want it. It will destroy the family, and it will destroy any goodwill there was."

The second type of client is the one who has tried couples therapy, who has tried "working on the marriage," and who has tried to make the best of a bad situation. But regardless of what they did, there was no denying the love was gone. Their home life was not dangerous to their physical wellbeing, but it was crushing them emotionally and spiritually. As attorneys, we are now able to help both of these types of clients to move forward with their lives at a significantly lower financial and emotional cost than it would have cost in the past. This is good news for everyone involved.